Embracing Change: A Journey Through Breast Cancer and Life's Challenges
- Miryam Van Horn
- Mar 29
- 5 min read
The journey I was about to embark on felt like standing at the base of a mountain, searching for a view of the peak. You can't fully grasp the enormity of what's ahead. It's thousands of steps: some easy, some difficult, and some even more painful. When it was time to address the cancer hidden under my breast tissue, I was grateful to have my husband, friends, and family by my side. Their encouragement and strength were all I could ever ask for. Yet, before I could take that first step, God revealed yet another challenge.
A New Chapter Begins
When I married my husband, I knew he was destined for great things. I had never been more sure of anything else. It was as if I had a crystal ball, revealing a successful future ahead. I wasn't wrong. In a short amount of time, he managed to climb the corporate ladder and was still climbing. Together, we dreamed of a life better than the one our parents built for us. Ultimately, we envisioned owning the perfect house in a perfect community for our beautiful son to grow and thrive. We were there. We had settled into our dream, and now it was about to change.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. My husband spoke to me about a job opportunity in Florida. I could sense the excitement in his voice. I had always encouraged him and supported him. I knew that one day we would have to move to keep achieving our dreams.
My husband was offered the perfect job at the most inopportune time. Only two weeks after my diagnosis on March 2, he received the job offer, and we accepted. Meanwhile, the first doctor's appointment was looming, creating a perfect storm. On March 17, 2023, I met my surgical oncologist, Dr. Rebecca Wiatrek. I was always impressed by how doctors manage to explain complex and anxiety-inducing information with a matter-of-fact directness. I couldn't decide if it made me feel comfortable or not.
Facing the Diagnosis
The options for addressing the cancer were pretty straightforward. I could opt for a lumpectomy in the left breast and follow it with radiation. To clarify, a lumpectomy is a procedure in which the tumor is removed from the breast along with healthy tissue surrounding it. The tissue is then tested for any growth of cancer cells. Along with the tumor, a collection of lymph nodes is also taken to examine and test for the spread of cancer.
Even more invasive was the third choice—a full mastectomy to avoid cancer ever forming in the other breast. The choice was mine. From the very first day I was diagnosed, I knew I would opt for a bilateral mastectomy. I didn't hesitate and scheduled the procedure straight away for April 12, 2023.
Maintaining Normalcy
In the days following my decision, I proceeded with care and normality. I had a son to think about. It was an enormous amount of change for him, and I needed to keep things as normal as possible to keep him from worrying. This required me to maintain a focus on the present. I didn't have the luxury of worrying and stressing about a cross-country move. Though I wanted to support my husband, but. my heart was breaking. We had to place our dream home on the market, and it was crushing me. Moving away from friends and family was also breaking my heart. I had never lived in another state, and the thought of leaving family and friends during such a painful time seemed daunting.
Nevertheless, I had to focus on getting past the first surgery, which was to remove my left breast. Even writing it now seems unbelievable. In any case, I had to focus on eating 70-80 ounces of protein daily. That's not a typo. In order for my body to heal properly and to avoid a longer recovery, 70-80 ounces of protein were on my menu every day.
The Day of Surgery
Surgery day was upon me, and as I waited, I began to feel nervous. What if something happened during surgery? What if I didn't come out of it? My husband was there, and the silence of waiting for the hour to wheel me off was deafening. Nurses kept coming in and checking on me for the surgeon, Dr Elizabeth Potter. "State your full name, please. And you are here for?", responding to these questions over and over didn't make the situation any less surreal. Nevertheless, there was one procedure I wasn't prepared for. Before my breast could be removed, a biopsy procedure for the removal of lymph nodes called sentinel node biopsy had to be performed. The lymph nodes must be removed to detect if the cancer could have spread to other areas of the body. This procedure was very painful. At one point, I even cried out in pain and burst into tears.
Well, it was time. The nerves were really taking over now, and I had been keeping everyone posted on social media. As the hour approached, I asked for prayer and I began to give my husband instructions: "Tell Benjamin I love him," "Remember to keep my parents informed throughout the surgery." As I slowly began to cry, something inside me started to feel warm and tingly, almost as if something was expanding within me. Prayer is most certainly powerful and I could feel every single one.
As the nurse wheeled me into the operating room, I saw my doctor standing before the surgery doors cheering me on, "You're going to do great!!" It was exactly what I needed. In what seemed like a quick disco nap, I began to open my eyes and I heard my name. "Mi-ry-am," she softly and tenderly called out to. I drowsily responded, "I want Whataburger."
Moving Forward with Confidence
In the aftermath of surgery, I realized that this journey was not just about physical healing. It was about emotional resilience and finding strength in the face of adversity. Each day brought new challenges, but it also brought new opportunities for growth. I learned to embrace change and to find beauty in the process of healing.
As I navigated this journey, I discovered the importance of self-care. It became essential to prioritize my well-being. I began to explore new beauty routines that made me feel confident and empowered. This was not just about looking good; it was about feeling good from the inside out.
I found joy in small things—like a fresh coat of nail polish or a new hairstyle. These little acts of self-love helped me reclaim my sense of identity during a time of uncertainty. I realized that beauty is not just skin deep; it’s a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
The Path Ahead
On the following blog of this series, I will continue the journey of breast cancer and the emotional toll of healing, losing a breast, and preparing to leave Texas. Stay tuned for part 4.
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