When it rains, it pours changes.
- Miryam Van Horn
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
Being diagnosed with cancer immediately halts everything in life. It's the stop sign you never saw coming, the red light in the middle of busy roadway. What on earth?!", your mind questions and simultaneously tries to find answers. "But I've been so good!" Trying to find the why and the how is a natural tendency in order for the brain to cope with the present.
The truth at the heart of it was, I was not taking care of myself. I thought taking care of myself meant soaking in a warm bath with a glass of wine. Self Care, right? Nope! I was having multiple glasses of wine every week and more on the weekend because "I deserve it!" Guess what, lady? Your body thinks otherwise! I was always worried about developing diabetes, turns out cancer feeds on sugar too and boy was I a sucker for anything sweet. Ice cream, chocolate, wine and cocktails..dessert with dinner? Yes please! I was feeding my body as if it were a 20-something, living in an episode of "Sex in the City" episode.
In actuality , my marriage was strained and the new year had already begun with busy schedules. The calendar was filling up with events and weekend family gatherings. It was a typical family operation full of pick up, drop offs, grocery runs and afterschool hangouts - complete with snacks at the ready for all my son's friends to ravage the pantry. We were blazing through the weeks and months as if we pressed the fast-forward button on our lives. Any wonder I was reaching for wine daily?
We were planning a big vacation to Switzerland that summer and I had just started to look at flight and hotel rates while simultaneously picturing myself running through meadows and reaching the top off a picturesque landscape, complete with Swiss Alps in the background and singing, "the Sound of Music" in my best Julie Andrews operatic voice. It was going to be a phenomenal year and I couldn't wait. Perhaps a magical destination like Switzerland could ignite a spark and rejuvenate my marriage.
God, however, had different plans for me. When the word "cancer" settled in my thought process, my Google searches went from the "best bed & breakfast in Interlaken" to "the best oncologist in Austin, Texas". There's nothing like a good health scare to put things into perspective. As it turned out, my OBGYN had already set me up with their preferred oncologist doctors and surgeons. I booked those appointments immediately and wasted no time in pursuing answers and next steps. First, I needed to get clarification on what it meant to have DCIS.
"Ms Van Horn, you are diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in Situ is that correct?"
"Yes. I think. I guess. Wait, what?" The thing is, you hear the word cancer and instantly you picture yourself on a deathbed and writing your will. You picture your body ravaged by some kind of poison that is about to destroy all your organs with no means of stopping it. I am incredibly fortunate and blessed that DCIS meant something quite different. I was instantly grateful when I heard the words, "highly treatable" and a "high survival rate" spoken by my oncologist surgeon. "Whew" I thought. Alright let's gett'r done.
Now to clarify, DCIS is "a very early form of breast cancer. In ductal carcinoma in situ, the cancer cells are confined inside a milk duct in the breast. The cancer cells haven't spread into the breast tissue. Ductal carcinoma in situ is often shortened to DCIS. It's sometimes called noninvasive, pre-invasive or stage 0 breast cancer. DCIS is usually found during a mammogram or as part of a breast cancer screening to investigate a breast lump. *DCIS has a low risk of spreading and is not life-threatening." (per MayoClinic website linked below) Think of it as a "seed" of cancer. When I learned how early the cancer was found, I knew I was going to be okay.
While I knew that the cancer was treatable and I was going to be okay, I wasn't aware of all the bumps along the road ahead. There was a mountain ahead of me. It wasn't the Switzerland mountains I had been planning for, nevertheless, there would be peace in the end.
**Photo credit Aplins in the Alps https://aplinsinthealps.com/about/
On the following blog of this series, I will continue the journey of breast cancer and the various options presented by doctors to address the mass and design the path ahead to healing. Stay tuned for part 3.
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